Achieving A Legendary Life
Finding Passion, Cultivating Resilience, and Embracing Growth With The Power of Antifragility
Welcome to the 100th episode of The Social Chameleon Show!
This time, we're diving into a topic close to my heart: navigating adversity and building resilience. In this milestone episode, we’ll unpack the idea that not every negative experience equates to trauma and can serve as a transformative force in our lives. We'll discuss embracing challenges and becoming "antifragile," turning stress and uncertainty into opportunities for growth.
We’ll explore essential mental health advice, including how to choose the right therapist and the importance of setting clear therapy goals. We’ll share personal insights on improving health through sleep, nutrition, and exercise, stressing the need to focus on what’s within our control. Join us as we celebrate a hundred episodes of learning, growing, and transforming into the people we want to become.
Get ready to engage with non-obvious content and reflective ideas, and be prepared to take actionable steps towards a Legendary Life. Thanks for being part of the Social Chameleon community – let's dive in!
Enjoy the episode!
🔑Key Themes🔑
Resilience through Adversity: Embracing Challenges
Antifragility: Adapting Positively to Stress
Therapy Selection: Interviewing for Fit
Holistic Health: Sleep, Food, Exercise, Social
Mindset and Beliefs: ABC Model
Non-obvious Content: Business and Marketing
Passion and Discipline: Continuous Growth
💡Marcus Aurelius Quotes💡
- “The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
- “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
- You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
🎓Lessons Learned🎓
Adversity Builds Resilience
Adversity strengthens personal resilience and helps us grow.Choosing the Right Therapist
Interview therapists to ensure a fit and set clear progress goals.Importance of Non-Obvious Content
Stand out by exploring unique, non-obvious topics and ideas.Prioritize Health and Sleep
Consistently get 7-9 hours of sleep to support health and productivity.Focus on Immediate Control
Concentrate on factors within your control to positively influence life.Social Interaction Matters
Build real-world relationships for mental and physical well-being.Embrace Failure as Learning
Treat failures as growth opportunities, paving the way for success.Discipline through Routine
Implement structured routines to foster discipline and success.Mindful Thought Management
Control thoughts to positively influence your feelings and actions.Exercise Natural Movement
Engage in simple physical activities like walking for better health.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
Antifragile
Antifragility is a property of systems in which they benefit from shocks. More fs.blog/antifragile-a-definition
Books
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams
Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout
Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict
Habits
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
Non-Obvious Further Exploration
- In order to build the skill of coming up with fresh, new ideas, we have to first define what it means to “think.”
- Obvious Content = The art of speaking to what people already think and believe (catering to the reader’s reflexive nature).
- Non-Obvious Content = The art of educating people on what they haven’t thought about or decided they believe yet (requesting their reflective nature).
Mentors Mentioned
**Jocko Willink**: Known as a Retired U.S. Navy Seal, Podcaster, Author, Leadership Instructor, and Entrepreneur.
**Stoics**
- Epictetus (c. 50–135 CE) - A former slave whose teachings were recorded by his student Arrian.
- You can find translations of his works like the "Enchiridion" and "Discourses" on websites like Project Gutenberg.
- The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy also provides an in-depth overview of his life and philosophy.
- Seneca (c. 4 BCE–65 CE) - A Roman philosopher, statesman, and playwright, known for his letters and essays.
- His essays and letters are available in English on Project Gutenberg and Internet Archive.
- For a scholarly overview, visit the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
- Marcus Aurelius (121–180 CE) - Roman Emperor and author of "Meditations," one of the most famous Stoic texts.
- "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius is widely available online for free on sites like Project Gutenberg and Internet Archive.
- For more in-depth analysis, the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy provides a thorough examination of his philosophy and influence.
- Epictetus (c. 50–135 CE) - A former slave whose teachings were recorded by his student Arrian.
Other Episodes
Episode Transcriptions
Show notes and transcripts powered with the help of Castmagic. Episode Transcriptions Unedited, Auto-Generated.
Tyson Gaylord [00:00:04]:
Welcome to the Social Chameleon Show where it's our goal to help you learn, grow, and transform into person you wanna come. Today, episode 100. It's it's been a journey, but we're here. Thank you everybody that's new here. Thanks to everybody that's been around, and thanks for everybody that helped make all at 100 episodes. I've had some incredible guests. I've learned from a ton of people. I've had, some friends, cohost with me.
Tyson Gaylord [00:00:35]:
That that that was fun. My my you know, back in 2018 when this started, I was like, there's listen. There's there's a lot of podcasts. I don't know about all this. You know, I enjoy I enjoyed them. And my my buddy really was like, listen to
Tyson Gaylord [00:00:48]:
you know, I think you could do it.
Tyson Gaylord [00:00:51]:
And as a challenge, I did it. And and it's been fun. It's been
Tyson Gaylord [00:00:56]:
a lot more work than I I think what I've realized is also people have come
Tyson Gaylord [00:01:02]:
to this conclusion. It's a lot more work than you think it is. Typically, it's not just turn on the mic and shit shoot the shit. There are some podcasts like that, and I'm sure those are definitely
Tyson Gaylord [00:01:11]:
a lot easier. But I I I'm sure as time goes on, it probably gets harder
Tyson Gaylord [00:01:16]:
to talk about things. But nevertheless, I hope you guys have been inspired out there. I hope you guys have learned things. I've got tons and tons of notes. I catch myself going back and listening to episodes, well, you know, while I'm editing them or later on. So, you know, I I you know, my whole goal with this thing was, you know, to go out there, share information in a in a larger format than, you know typically, I do. I don't really do too much, you know, group coaching, anything like that. So that was the whole point of here is get on here and and be able to reach people in in a, you know, more of a group type setting, share information.
Tyson Gaylord [00:01:56]:
And it's been a fun. It's been a blast. I can't wait for the next 100 to go. It took me a little longer to get here than I thought.
Tyson Gaylord [00:02:05]:
You know, there was
Tyson Gaylord [00:02:05]:
a bit of a pause during, the pandemic and stuff. I I took some time off, and then that wound up being like, wow. This is nice break, and that wound up being a couple of years. And it was good. I think I needed that. I I definitely just wind up consuming my life a lot, putting out a new episode every week. And I like I like heavy show notes. I I enjoy that as a as a podcast listener.
Tyson Gaylord [00:02:29]:
I enjoy other things like Tim Ferris and Huberman and, Peter Attia and some of these things I can think off of the top of my head, Ben Greenfield and stuff. These guys have really good good show notes. It's like you're listening and, oh, what's that thing? You know, and you can take an opportunity later on to go and jump in and and and jump into that link or or, you know, get that book or whatever it is. So I I like that. So that's what I want to put out. So it's a lot of work to, you know, go through go through my notes, get all this stuff together. And I I I don't do
Tyson Gaylord [00:03:01]:
this to make money, so, you know, it it kinda cost prohibitive to hire a team. You know,
Tyson Gaylord [00:03:05]:
I've done some things over the years. AI has really made things a lot easier, on on that front. I am thinking maybe, you know, I I think I should we should hire somebody dedicated to, help out with this. But it's been fun. And and I the next I got some plans. I got some guest lists. Some people I'm trying to get, you know, get on the show, and I think, you know, this is gonna just, you know, keep evolving. I'm gonna keep getting better.
Tyson Gaylord [00:03:30]:
The one thing that came out is I didn't realize would happen, and I kinda thought it would because of some other people I've
Tyson Gaylord [00:03:36]:
heard is just getting better at talking. It it is a skill. It it seems like,
Tyson Gaylord [00:03:44]:
you know, oh, just just talking is easy. You know, it's easy when you're just, you know, finishing with friends or something or you're maybe was just with a client or a customer or guest or whatever it is. And that's kinda your new element. When you're on you're on camera interviewing people, that's a skill. I'm naturally curious. So I think that's easy for me to just to a little bit of that is easier for me to just ask questions and things like, well, what is that? What are you thinking about? So that's something that maybe comes a little bit more naturally to me, so that was a little easier. But still, it's,
Tyson Gaylord [00:04:19]:
you know, feeling making it
Tyson Gaylord [00:04:22]:
feel natural and making the questions genuine. Sometimes I only have maybe 3 to 6 questions typically on, you know, on average. And the rest of the interview is just me following up or being curious or double clicking on that or, hey. Share a story about this or I'll share a story or whatever it is. So it's been fun to learn all those things and get better at that. And I feel I feel like it's definitely translated into, you know, real life, which has been fun and which is a great side effect of of this this whole venture. And so this for this episode, I wanna try something a little different. There's some topics I want I've been wanting to talk about, and I I didn't feel like maybe they were worth a full show.
Tyson Gaylord [00:05:05]:
But if there is a topic or maybe a thread you guys think would be fun to pull a little bit, I would gladly I would gladly go down the rabbit hole. Even if it
Tyson Gaylord [00:05:14]:
was a short episode, it's not a problem. So I
Tyson Gaylord [00:05:17]:
you know, mini topics is what I'm gonna call this kinda this this next little segment here. Some are a little longer than other. I tried to put them in a theme where I think they would flow, so you could stack on each of these. Just some things I I think about here. Like I said, maybe not not enough for a full episode. Not, I I do I think I do wanna maybe write a little bit more or something like that where I can get some of these smaller thoughts out, something I'm thinking about doing. Not too big on doing social media things. But this maybe maybe something I could I could do social media too, do a little real short or something like that where these little smaller smaller snippet topics get out there, maybe have a little bit more of a different type of conversation with you folks.
Tyson Gaylord [00:06:04]:
No show notes and stuff like that. So it's another experiment. Let me know what you guys are thinking. Let me know your thoughts. You can always, write into us. And, you know, if you have an idea, if you if you have a guest you're thinking about, like, hey. I know doctor Tom. I think you can really go deep on that topic with you.
Tyson Gaylord [00:06:22]:
I'd I'd love to connect with people. You're always welcome to share your suggestions, share your your guests, share your comments, send me send send me your commentary, whatever it is. So let's get into these mini topics. First one, I think it's a hot topic you see around a lot. Might just be my feed. I don't know. That could just be what I'm into. Morning routines versus night routines.
Tyson Gaylord [00:06:42]:
Listen. Routines are great. Routines are good. The the thing the one quip I have with this is it feels like people get too down in the rabbit hole of, I gotta do 74 things I heard on Huberman or your favorite biohacker friend or whatever it is. And then you're like, I can't. I gotta get up at 3:30 in the morning now so I can get all 74 of these things done. If not, my day is gonna suck. You can't let these things take over your life.
Tyson Gaylord [00:07:12]:
Yes. They're great. Yes. They're awesome if they can get it done. Trust me. Listen. I work out. I ice bath.
Tyson Gaylord [00:07:16]:
I eat well. I supplement. I do these things, but they don't ruin my life. If if I got a morning that's gonna come up and it's gotta cut my thing short, hey. Maybe, you know the last week, you know, all intents and purposes, I had the ice bath ready, set up, and ready to go. Next thing you know, I look at the clock, and I'm like, dang. I I gotta go. I gotta I messed up.
Tyson Gaylord [00:07:38]:
I gotta go. Didn't ruin my day. You know? They're great who do it. I try to hit them every day. They don't ruin my life, and I've definitely trimmed back things. Definitely, after the conversation I had on episode I think it was 97 with, Daniel, I really thought about, you know, I like an empty calendar. We talked about an episode we haven't. Go back and check that out.
Tyson Gaylord [00:08:01]:
And and and through that episode and then also reading Slow Productivity by Cal Newport. Recently, I talked a bit about this book because this is a book I I read recently. I've gone back and edited my calendar a bit and put in blocks in there. I think they must have been from another book I was reading as well too. I think it was leadership boosting. But putting in red, yellow, and green blocks in a day, and I've gone back and I I throw those in. You know, you know, green blocks are are things that they they can go by the wayside. If you don't get them to them today, not a big deal.
Tyson Gaylord [00:08:37]:
Yellow blocks, try not to move those. You try not to to push those out. Red blocks, hard stops. Nothing there. And just having those blocks in my calendar, I think, has led a little bit off of my mind and in in the terms of I gotta do all these things. I gotta get stuff done. So that's something
Tyson Gaylord [00:08:52]:
I picked up. Like I said, hey. I'm learning from episodes too. And sometimes, you know, we tell ourselves stories and and you believe
Tyson Gaylord [00:09:01]:
them, and sometimes you see an outside person and say, hey. Maybe think about that. And I took some time to reflect on some of those things. That episode plus a
Tyson Gaylord [00:09:07]:
couple of books I I had read,
Tyson Gaylord [00:09:10]:
I believe after that episode, really, I was like, you know, I should at least put some blocks on my calendar, things that are nonnegotiables for the day, things that I could move if I had a meeting or or an event or something came up. I it's okay if I slide that around a little bit. And in green ones, if I don't get some in the morning. You know? And ice bathing is one of those yellow things where it's like, if I can get to a little earlier, I get to a little earlier. If I get to a little later, if I get to a little later, If I skip a day, that's rare enough as it is. Not a big deal. Just go about my thing. So that's the thing I want you guys to think about.
Tyson Gaylord [00:09:41]:
Like, when you don't complete all these morning routines, does this ruin your day? Does this get you in a negative mindset? Does this does this frame out your day where you put yourself in this negative space probably unconsciously, probably by accident? And this is something I hear a lot about, and I want I want brain awareness. I want you guys to be aware of it. And I think more important than morning routines is what you're doing at night because this is gonna set you up for the next day. Are are you ready the next day when you get into work? You already have a plan because when you ended work the day before, you've set this up. You're ready to rock and roll. These are things that can trip people up. You you know, if we always have that thing, you know, we walk in in the morning. We stand on our desk, and it's like, what do I gotta do today?
Tyson Gaylord [00:10:25]:
Well, you know, Jill emailed
Tyson Gaylord [00:10:27]:
me, and then Bob and accounting's on me. And then you're like, well, I'm just gonna do these things because we don't have a plan. But if you set yourself up the night before, the day before, so you ended the work day, you're like, alright. I got project x done. I'm waiting on Trevor from y to get back to me with this. You know, you got this whole list. So when I go and come come tomorrow, this is priority 1. This is priority 2.
Tyson Gaylord [00:10:45]:
This is priority 3. The rest of these I'm waiting on, when I get these responses, I'll add them into the workflow, setting yourself up for the next day. Right? Same goes when you're at home or you get home. What are you gonna do? So you gotta work yourself back. Like, listen. I wanna be sleeping by, whatever, 10. So let's say for you, that means I need to be in bed by 9:30 because, you know, I I gotta wind down thing. I got a thing I I know I could do.
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:09]:
I like to jump in bed. I like to do a little reading or a little meditating, you know, brush my teeth. Whatever your your thing is. I wanna shower real quick. You know, maybe you wanna jump in the sauna or something like that or ice bath. I know people like to do these at the end of the day to help them sleep. Whatever it is, you gotta work that back. Say, I wanna be sleeping at 10.
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:25]:
Okay. I wanna do jump in a sauna for 20 minutes. Okay. So that means I need to get in the sauna by 9:30. Right? And then okay. Well, then that means I need to I need to be finished dinner probably, like, 7, 7:30. Right? Because you want at least 2 hours after dinner to digest so you're not digesting all that, and you're heavy when you're trying to sleep, ruining your sleep quality, sleep duration, and all those types of things. Right? So you gotta work this back.
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:45]:
Then you're like, okay. Well, then I gotta put my phone down by
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:46]:
this time.
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:46]:
I gotta turn off the TV by this time. I gotta get off of the laptop by this time. I wanna have family time. But then so if you set yourself up at the end of the day for
Tyson Gaylord [00:11:53]:
all this, well, guess what happens come morning time? Well, you might probably I'll tell you what
Tyson Gaylord [00:12:00]:
I do every day. I I don't have an alarm unless I absolutely have to catch a flight or something like that, and it's something irregular for me. I don't I wake up every morning, 5, 5:30. You know? Because I set myself up the night before, I don't need an alarm because I have adequate amount of sleep. So I try to have dinner. You know? 7, I'm done. I'm trying to be done eating so that I'm digested and ready to rock and roll when I hit bed. 9, 9:30 I mean, 10 o'clock, hard stop.
Tyson Gaylord [00:12:27]:
I'm in I'm I'm in bed. I typically fall asleep in 4, 5 seconds. That's just me. I'm I'm lucky like that.
Tyson Gaylord [00:12:34]:
I know, people are jealous and something that but
Tyson Gaylord [00:12:38]:
I know this about myself. Right? So I've I've gone through and evaluate these things. Right? So I wake up. Boom. Ready. Every morning, I wake up ready to rock and roll. I got my plan. I already know what I'm doing because I already have some blocks on my calendar.
Tyson Gaylord [00:12:50]:
I have some things already ready to roll. I knew when I got out of bed, I know what I know I'm doing. I'm I'm already rocking and rolling. Right? So my morning goes smooth and things go smooth. And I roll I roll into my day smooth because I've set up myself at night. Right? Makes it easier. I'm not waking up. Oh, man.
Tyson Gaylord [00:13:05]:
I'm so tired. I shouldn't have stayed up till 1 o'clock in the morning on Netflix and email. And, like, oh, man. I don't feel like working out today. So you're lazy. You're fucking Latica, getting drunk an ass all day. You know, these things. And then
Tyson Gaylord [00:13:16]:
and then subsequently, is what happens
Tyson Gaylord [00:13:19]:
when you're tired of this? Well, guess what happens? You start making bad choices. Right? You start making shitty food choices. You're, well, I'm tired. And what happens naturally, your body's like, yeah. Donut sounds pretty good this morning. Hey. You got a donut now. And then, but, you know, let me do this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:13:33]:
And then, yeah, I want lunch, and then they, I don't need a workout. And this is these things are happening when you're tired. You know? And you can tell yourself all the stories. I have to do I can sleep for 3, 4 hours. Yeah. Maybe you can, but you ain't that good at it. You our bodies are not designed. And odds of you being the very, very, very, very special person that can do it, forget about it.
Tyson Gaylord [00:13:53]:
Stop minding yourself. Get your get your ass into bed 7 to 9 hours. That that's the range you should be in. You're gonna be optimal. You know, this show ain't about being regular. This show ain't about being average. We wanna be legendary. In order to live a legendary life,
Tyson Gaylord [00:14:12]:
we need to be optimal. K? You go to a doctor and you get
Tyson Gaylord [00:14:16]:
a bloke. You're like, yep. You're just like everybody else. Guess what? Everybody else is sick, fat, out of shape, not running well. You think you're good. You think you can multitask. You can't do it. You ain't that special.
Tyson Gaylord [00:14:26]:
K? So you wanna be legendary? Then this is what we're talking about. You don't wanna be legendary? There's plenty of other places to be. This ain't the place for you. Alright? Let's think about this nighttime routine, guys. I think this is a game changer. So thing it doesn't have to be this big drawn out thing. Automation is so great nowadays. My lights in my living room, they come on.
Tyson Gaylord [00:14:51]:
They're a nice orange. They dim down as the evening goes comes on. No overhead lights. There's something I, you know, I learned about overhead lights, you know, ceiling lights, things like this and, you know, can lights and stuff like that in your house. They can be bright. Right? I mean, you you've got a, you know, 5,000 Kelvin, nice white bright light on and shine down in your living room. Your brain's like, the sun is out. Look at this overhead light.
Tyson Gaylord [00:15:16]:
You know? Something to consider, lamps. Use automation to your thing if that's something that works for your life, works for your budget. Some people are are sensitive to EMF and stuff. I you know, the the light flickering. Take that into consideration if that's something you struggle with. There's options out there. Incandescent bulbs, that might be the way to go. You know? Yeah.
Tyson Gaylord [00:15:33]:
You're gonna have to spend a few cents more a month, but they're better quality light. You want this dimmer, yellower fire kinda think about this. Think about night fire. Think about camp fires. Like, these things, they don't bother you. You're not you're out of a camp fire sitting around. You're you're not being stimulated. You're not being awakened.
Tyson Gaylord [00:15:49]:
And if that's not possible, you see all the dorks with the blue blockers, maybe that's for you. I don't have a problem with it. My phone goes to night mode. I don't really play on my phone that much anyway. My TV's on a dimmer kinda side of things. So these are the things you set yourself up. It can be automated. You can you can do do these things that make your life easy.
Tyson Gaylord [00:16:09]:
And then a a thing that I really, next topic. Thing one thing that really I'm not that's manifesting. That's not so much. K? This is this topic. Manifesting. I'm not necessarily big into it. I'm not necessarily a thing. But what the thing that kinda drives me nuts a little bit is is because when you use this frame of mind with this word, right, we have this manifesting, which, you know, bring conjures up this image of of you got a vision board, and Billy is
Tyson Gaylord [00:16:39]:
just sitting back. He's like, yeah. It's on my board. See that? Ferrari. Whatever. Netflix.
Tyson Gaylord [00:16:45]:
And that's the image that's conjured up. Right? I mean, I get it. That that makes sense. Right? But what I think people are missing is and this is something we do as humans. I know I do it. I'm sure there's dumb things I do. What it all boils down to me is it's goal setting. Right? How do you get your brain attuned to what's happening? You can call it manifesting.
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:04]:
It's goal setting. Right? That particular activating system in your brain that when you're like, you start looking for something, you see it everywhere all of a sudden. Right? You're like, I'm gonna get a new car. You get a new car like red. I got me a a new red Tahoe. Right? And what do you start seeing? You see Tahoes everywhere because your brain is attuned to that. And people are gonna tell you, listen. That ain't real.
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:25]:
That ain't science.
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:27]:
I don't know the science. I don't know whether science
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:30]:
is real or not. What what is real is is we all know this is true. When you start seeing things, when you start focusing on things, you start to pay attention to them. Right? So this is what I think is missing and manifesting. So when next time you hear this, if you're a if you're averse to this topic, just think about it
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:49]:
like this. It's just goal setting under a different name. Right? It's like religion. There's a
Tyson Gaylord [00:17:54]:
lot of different there's religion. There's god god, whatever your thing is. Same thing. Right? And there's all these different things. It's all religion. They're all just called different things. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:18:02]:
We don't need to fight about them. Just reframe it.
Tyson Gaylord [00:18:05]:
Right? So when someone's talking manifesting, see if there's something, you know, maybe even averse to it. It's like, oh, you're talking about goal setting. Oh, okay. That's an interesting technique for for goal setting. Right? You know? So and this can be connected with laziness. Right? So you have to be careful with these things too. You sometimes your brain doesn't understand when you're talking about these things, you're doing these things. You're like, oh, we're done.
Tyson Gaylord [00:18:27]:
We did it. Right? And your brain's like, alright. We're checked off the list. And so then you can fall back into these different kind
Tyson Gaylord [00:18:34]:
of patterns of things. So be careful that is something that can happen too. And, also, like I I was saying earlier, it's
Tyson Gaylord [00:18:46]:
you just can't, you know, say something and and not do any work. We we all know we gotta put in the work. And I in this day and age, in 2024 and beyond and before this, I swear it's easy. It's been easier and easier and easier. People are brainwashed. They're in in these mind traps or any stings, and you're it's easy to be consumed by what's happening on the news, what's happening politically, geopolitically, whatever. What's the trend on TikTok? It's easy to be capturing these things. So, therefore, if you wanna be legendary, all you gotta do
Tyson Gaylord [00:19:22]:
is rise above that. And
Tyson Gaylord [00:19:25]:
and rising above isn't very much. You know? And then that's where I think there's a disconnect between laziness and whatnot is focus on these goals. You've gotta go out and do things. Right? But the first thing is you need to identify what your focus is, not not what your mom or dad or uncle, whoever's told you
Tyson Gaylord [00:19:48]:
to do. You gotta find
Tyson Gaylord [00:19:50]:
a focus. So when you're focusing on something, you're not easily distracted by these things. You're not mindlessly doing things. When when we don't have a goal, we don't have an ambition, we don't have a direction. Right? We're just heading west. Or we don't even know I don't even know if I wanna head west. Then you don't know what to do. So then it's easy to fall into these things.
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:08]:
Well, I'm just gonna say what's on Netflix. Well, what's going on on the gram? What's happening on TikToks? Right? Because because your your mind just wants something, and it doesn't have something to grasp on to. So this is when this stuff happens. Right? So if you have a direction you're headed, even if it's just right now listen. Listen. I don't know what I really wanna get into. Maybe you're young or maybe you've tried something. Maybe you know you just have a change.
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:30]:
You're like, listen. I don't know what I wanna do. I'm just gonna start heading west. Alright. Let's just pick a direction right now. K? Let's just and then so now you're like, okay. We're going west. So now what are you tuned to? What what is West work? Hey.
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:41]:
You know, I came I came by this, this art class. You know? You know, I really do like I really do like art. I think, you know, they're doing glass blowing.
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:49]:
Like, oh, I wonder if I could get
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:52]:
into that. You go and you you try that for
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:54]:
a little bit. Right? You know, like, you you're going, you know, hey. These guys are in
Tyson Gaylord [00:20:58]:
the writing workshop? You know, I, you know, I I think I'm a good writer. You know? And you go try that, and and then find something not necessarily your passion. That's a whole different thing. I think we talked about this. I know we talked about this before. Something you can be compassionate about. That's really a lot of times what this comes down to. Right? I never ever thought about any of these things growing up.
Tyson Gaylord [00:21:20]:
Listen. I want to play I want to play for the 49ers. I'm a quarterback in the NFL. That's what I thought.
Tyson Gaylord [00:21:29]:
And that's the direction I moved in. You know, I mean, I made sure I worked out. I made
Tyson Gaylord [00:21:33]:
sure I did the things. I went to practice. I did those things. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:21:36]:
But but that was my passion, girl. That's my dream. Whatever. Like but all these other things I've done, I I I found some things that I
Tyson Gaylord [00:21:44]:
become passionate about. I can get behind, and I can give the things that are good to me into these things. And then they become a passion or something along those lines. Right? So those you don't have to necessarily set up for a power. I gotta find my passion. A lot of times, it's bullshit. Okay? What can you become passionate about? You know? Can can can you
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:03]:
go maybe find
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:06]:
a business, find a job, or you're like, you know, this is fun. Like, I I enjoy working in this restaurant. You know, I'm just a voice player. And that's just kinda cool. And then you work up to wait a minute. You know what? I like this food service industry. I like customer service. And you become passionate about that.
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:19]:
Then you start honing your craft. You start going to classes and seminars. You start doing different courses, how to speak better, how to maybe become a sommelier, whatever it is. How how how do I serve better? How do I how do I how do I how do I talk better? How do I do sales? What what is what is it? You're you're selling the dishes. What are the specials? We gotta sell these specials. We gotta get dessert. We gotta get some drinks. You start learning how to communicate.
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:39]:
Boom. Now you're passionate about about the restaurant industry. You're passionate about so now you're moving up. I'm I'm I'm an assistant manager now. I gotta start learning about leadership. And you start getting passionate about this, you start getting into Jocko. You start listening to David Gogley. You start going on these different things.
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:51]:
You you you start picking up some leadership books. You get some Sun Tzu. You get the, you know, 5 rings. You're like, dang on. Oh, this is awesome. There's so many things. You get against Robert Greene. The 40 laws of power.
Tyson Gaylord [00:22:59]:
You know, you get 33 strategies of war. You're like, start going down this thing. Man, I'm a manager now. I'm leading people. This is amazing. Right? You start being passionate about this. Boom. Constantly.
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:08]:
Learning. Thriving. Going. Going. This is how you find a passion. Okay? So things we can do. Right? And so all these things, right, you need to take these steps, and these things leads to discipline. And like Jaco says, right, discipline equals freedom.
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:22]:
When when you do what you gotta do, you have free time. When you do what you gotta do, you have money to do things. Right? When you when you're disciplined to work out, your body works great. You're not in the doctors.
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:31]:
You're not on prescriptions. You're you're you're you're focused. You're living that legendary life. You're you're running optimally. Right? These are the
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:41]:
things that we got going on. Right? And then and and this thing, do we go back you know, I love the stoics. We talk about these things here. This is what they were saying
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:50]:
in the 100 BCs. Right? Marcus Aurelius, I'm a
Tyson Gaylord [00:23:53]:
a bunch of things Marcus Aurelius. This is what I'm this is this is what kinda chaps me a little bit about people say I'm manifesting some of that. Like, these guys were talking about this before. Unfortunately, with the secret of some of these things, these things have gotten twisted up or whatever. Right? The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts. This is what I'm saying.
Tyson Gaylord [00:24:13]:
This is what we're talking about. Right? Your soul becomes dyed with the color
Tyson Gaylord [00:24:17]:
of your thoughts. You've got to be careful what you're putting in your brain. You gotta be careful what you're focusing on. If you're not focusing on anything, you don't have a direction. Somebody's gonna give you one. I don't know about you guys, but I don't like people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing because I have my direction. I know where I'm headed. I have goals.
Tyson Gaylord [00:24:33]:
I have things I wanna achieve. I know what I think is right and wrong. I know what my values are. It took time. I figured it out. Now we're moving. Right? The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. So when Marcus Aurelius was talking about 2,000 plus years ago, the pow you have the power over your mind, not outside events.
Tyson Gaylord [00:25:03]:
Realize this, and you will find strength. You've got your direction. You've got your goals. You've got a pursuit.
Tyson Gaylord [00:25:13]:
Your mind is focused. You don't worry about these alternate things because why? They're outside of our control.
Tyson Gaylord [00:25:21]:
We don't worry about things outside of our control. We influence what we can influence. We have a problem. We have a thing we see. We have something we wanna do. We take our influence and we've developed, and we influence things. We don't get wrapped up in what's going on. 99% of this shit is just hype train stuff that gets you mad, upset, divided, hating the other.
Tyson Gaylord [00:25:46]:
This is a tactic and a strategy of war. You other people. I don't remember ever being directly taught this in
Tyson Gaylord [00:25:56]:
the military, but this is what we are taught. Those guys, the enemy, the terrorists, those are human fucking beings. But when you're told the others, it becomes less personal, becomes easier to to to go out into war, to kill people, to do these things. It makes it easier when you other. These are tactics that's happening on your favorite news channel, probably on your favorite news podcast, depending on
Tyson Gaylord [00:26:34]:
the source. Right? These are things that are happening especially on social media. Right? You other people, the Democrats, the Republicans, the whites, the blacks, the browns, the the the the the the the the the. Guess what? They're not you, so they become less human. This is a tactic. This is how you manipulate people to do things they normally wouldn't do. You are part of a tribe. You are part of a group.
Tyson Gaylord [00:26:58]:
You, therefore, go into groupthink. Those are others. They are not us. They don't believe and think what we do. Therefore, they must be whatever.
Tyson Gaylord [00:27:08]:
Right? And if
Tyson Gaylord [00:27:10]:
you step back from that, you will see, and you can see just think about the other group that you are all opposed to right now. And think about all the atrocious things you think about other group, and they're taught to
Tyson Gaylord [00:27:22]:
think that about you. K?
Tyson Gaylord [00:27:26]:
You cannot worry about these things outside of your control. When you are focused on what is in your control, you are focused on your values, your your beliefs, your direction, your things, you can be the influence, the positivity, the thing other people can gravitate and get around. Other people that don't have those things yet, you can be the leader. You can be the one inspiring. You can be the one saying, you don't have a thing. I have a thing. You like this? Come with me. Let's go this way.
Tyson Gaylord [00:27:57]:
I don't like the trash in my neighborhood. I'm gonna pick it up. I'm not blaming not a damn motherfucker. Nobody. It ain't the mayor's fault. It ain't Billy's fault next door from letting his trash blow around the thing. You have a problem with it. You take care
Tyson Gaylord [00:28:08]:
of it. You're out there picking it up. Billy come out. Hey. What's going on?
Tyson Gaylord [00:28:12]:
Oh, no. Just picking up the trash. You know? If we you maybe we could just all band together and make sure we our trash stays in our trash. Our neighborhood would be beautiful. And then they say, you know what? Yeah. Thanks, man.
Tyson Gaylord [00:28:21]:
I appreciate that. Set the example. Right? This is what Marcus is talking about here. So many things come down to to framing. Right? How do we set this up in our mind? Listen.
Tyson Gaylord [00:28:41]:
You're gonna fail. Right? You probably got some crazy idea. That's good. Let's get it going. Is it gonna fail? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? But guess what's gonna fail? Not doing it. Not trying.
Tyson Gaylord [00:28:54]:
What what's the worst that's gonna happen? You're gonna learn some shit. That's like the worst. We
Tyson Gaylord [00:29:02]:
can get everything back except time. You know, I talked about this before in a show. When you
Tyson Gaylord [00:29:10]:
when you interview people in hospice, people on different stuff, the things that they talk about is the
Tyson Gaylord [00:29:14]:
things that they didn't do. I should've I should've forgave Jill. I should've spent more time like that.
Tyson Gaylord [00:29:20]:
I should've tried that business idea. I should've went and bought that little corner shop. I was dang. Right? Failing is go is good. This is how we learn. Everything we enjoy today is because of a failed product before. Those guys tried the first iPhone. I don't know how many times they probably tried that and broke them all.
Tyson Gaylord [00:29:43]:
But because they failed, we have what we have now. Right? All these things failed. All these things blew up. How many 10000 iterations the light bulb? Look at the shiny things behind me. It's amazing. Right? Blue LED thought to be impossible. We can't do it. I think, like, 20 or 30 years.
Tyson Gaylord [00:30:02]:
No. We can't do blue LEDs. Now you can do 17,000,000 colors because one guy was like, you know what? I I can figure this blue LED thing out. And he slaved away, and he got it done. And he failed countless times. They were gonna pull this funding, and his boss is like, this is not happening, and he just kept at it. When they told him to not, he went home. He went in his lab, and he kept doing it.
Tyson Gaylord [00:30:27]:
He figured it out.
Tyson Gaylord [00:30:28]:
Now this guy is credited with one of the
Tyson Gaylord [00:30:30]:
greatest inventions ever. Blue LED, but you don't understand that blue LED gives us our TVs, gives us these displays, gives us all these types of things that we have now because of the blue LED. Everybody thought this guy was crazy. A crazy idea. He failed. He failed. He failed. But because of those failures, we now have blue LEDs.
Tyson Gaylord [00:30:46]:
Right? This is just a crazy example. Right? When you win, when you lose, it's because of failure. You gotta fail fast. You gotta fail early. You gotta fail hard. You gotta get used to failure. We gotta do these things. Right? I talked about this before.
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:00]:
If you're this is tough, go on and start asking for discounts. This is a nice way to get familiar with failure, to get familiar with rejection. It's not easy. You know? I remember being a young wee young lad, knocking on doors, trying to sell stuff. Slam doors in
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:18]:
your face all the time. You just boom. And you just go on
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:21]:
to the next guy. He's probably having a bad day. They're probably trusting about something. Maybe their kid's sick.
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:27]:
I don't know. Let's just move on. Out of my control. Moving on. Right? And then that
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:32]:
leads me down to the next topic, something, kinda builds on this. Right? Trauma and mental illness. We hear a
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:44]:
lot about this stuff. Right? It is a listen. I'm not a doctor.
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:48]:
I pretend to be one on Instagram sometimes. I'm not a therapist. But
Tyson Gaylord [00:31:56]:
whether whether it's a more cynical plan out there or not, I don't know. Not here to
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:01]:
talk about this neither here nor there.
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:03]:
But it feels like something's afoot where everybody needs
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:09]:
to be diagnosed with somebody or you're different. Right? I think this needs to stop. You do not need a diagnosis. Now if you've seen some crazy shit,
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:25]:
I'm not saying not go see somebody. Get some get some help. Okay?
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:30]:
But because your grandmother didn't get you a Care Bear on your 4th birthday doesn't mean you have trauma. Alright? Just because missus Winslow was mean to you in 6th straight English doesn't mean you have trauma, and you need to go
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:44]:
see a therapist. Okay? Stop watching this fucking IG TikTok bullshit. Alright? Nothing's wrong with you if you don't have a diagnosis. Have you had harsh shit
Tyson Gaylord [00:32:55]:
in your life? I'm sure you have. We all have. That's called life. It's called growing up. It's called being a human. It's what makes you human. It's what makes you stronger. Your ancestors dealt with the harshest shit you could never fucking imagine, which is why you're alive watching or listening to this now.
Tyson Gaylord [00:33:17]:
K? Most people, nothing is wrong with you. K? I wanna I I talked about
Tyson Gaylord [00:33:22]:
this before. I'm a go to it again. Okay? When shit happens in life,
Tyson Gaylord [00:33:27]:
the default response from a human being is resilience, is
Tyson Gaylord [00:33:33]:
to become antifragile. That is our default response, not trauma, not fucking PTSD. Okay? That's not you don't got PTSD from not having an Xbox growing up. Okay?
Tyson Gaylord [00:33:47]:
Because there's real people out there that see some real shit that I'm sure ain't happy with you saying you have PTSD that somebody was mean to you. Alright? But we gotta we gotta stop this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:00]:
We gotta break the stigma. This I believe this goes back
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:02]:
to what I was talking about earlier. Right? The othering. Right? Something's wrong
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:07]:
with you. Let's lower the fucking standards, which is why now it's easy to be to be average is to be exceptional. That's what we are seeing nowadays. Right? Let's talk about being antifragile. This comes up from one of my favorite authors with a book titled Antifragile. Nassim Nicholas Taleb, great great author. He's got, if you're watching the video, this black and gold set of books behind me off my left shoulder. That's the set.
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:37]:
Black Swan, antifragile. There's a whole bunch in in in his in his series. I'm gonna read a little bit from the definition so we're all on the same page with this. Antifragile is a property of systems in which they benefit from shocks.
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:52]:
Quote, some things benefit from shocks. They thrive and grow and expose
Tyson Gaylord [00:34:57]:
to volatility, randomness disorder, and stressors, and love, adventure, risk, uncertainty. It goes on to say, antifragile is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same. The antifragile gets better. This property is behind everything that has changed with time. This is us. This is humans. Right? What do you do? You get in the sauna.
Tyson Gaylord [00:35:25]:
It stresses your body. It shock proteins. What happens? You get better because your body is antifragile. You get your fucking ass in an ice bath. It's cold. No shit. That's the point. You get cold shock proteins.
Tyson Gaylord [00:35:36]:
Guess what happens? We stress the body. We become antifragile. You move heavy shit. Guess what happens? Your muscles are stressed. Your cardiovascular system is stretched. Stressed. Your brain is stressed, BDNF and all these things come about, boom, antifragile. You get better.
Tyson Gaylord [00:35:59]:
You sleep better, depression, anxiety, all this shit goes away. There's studies on it. Go look it up. You go to bed easier. You sleep better. And when you sleep better, what do you do? You're fucking legendary because you're optimized. You're operating at an optimal level. You are not distracted.
Tyson Gaylord [00:36:21]:
You can carry forth. You can do hard shit. When you do hard shit, guess what you know how to do? More hard shit. Okay? The antifragile loves randomness and uncertainty, which also means
Tyson Gaylord [00:36:34]:
cruelty, a
Tyson Gaylord [00:36:36]:
love of errors, a certain class of errors. Antifragility has a singular property of allowing us to deal with the unknown, to do things without understanding them and do them well. Let me be more aggressive. This is mister Tlaib speaking here in his book. We are largely better at doing than we are at thinking. Thanks to antifragility. I'd rather be dumb and antifragile than extremely smart and fragile anytime. This is from the book.
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:07]:
I will leave a link to the book and to a great, post by Farnam Street on this topic. Listen. This is why you're here. Your ancestors
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:20]:
were antifragile. They knew how
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:23]:
to go
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:25]:
more than 3 hours without eating. So walk around, get shit done, hunt some animals, work as
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:32]:
a team. Nobody othered each other, especially in your village because you'd be in another village if that was the case. And I'm sure if you went to the other village, you probably wouldn't stay there very long either, and you've actually did the gene pool.
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:44]:
Alright? This is what we know. All this shit isn't trauma. If you've truly experienced something traumatic in your
Tyson Gaylord [00:37:51]:
life, please see a therapist. But when you do this, you see a therapist. Right? You're thinking about getting counseling. Before you start this, I want this in your head when you're interviewing therapists. This is right. You should be interviewing these people because they literally you're handing them the keys to your fucking brain, and they're gonna go in there and they're gonna tinker with shit. And if you didn't interview them and make sure they're the right person for you, they could fuck you up. Okay? So when you go and interview therapists, you're doing these things.
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:24]:
Maybe you've interviewed them
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:25]:
in your session. Right? Don't get stuck in doom loops. Always focusing on shit and finding new shit
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:32]:
to complain about. Does your therapist and you have you come up with a plan to get out of therapy?
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:39]:
That is the most key thing because guess what? Your check I don't mean to be harsh.
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:44]:
I'm not saying all therapists are this way, but what I do understand is this is a lot of therapy. This is a
Tyson Gaylord [00:38:50]:
lot of the medical industry. You're a paycheck. You're a dollar sign. You're an asset. Your wellness is a liability.
Tyson Gaylord [00:39:00]:
And that's the hard truth. K? This is what this shows about. I'm gonna tell you what's going on. I'll tell you what's up, and then I'm gonna tell you how to deal with it. Alright? You don't wanna be a liability.
Tyson Gaylord [00:39:14]:
K? You need a plan in therapy.
Tyson Gaylord [00:39:17]:
You had a you got some shit happen to you? Go talk to the therapist. Hey. This is this is this
Tyson Gaylord [00:39:22]:
is what I this is what happened. I wanna get past this. What would your plan be? How would we go with this? How many sessions are we talking about? 8 sessions? 12 sessions? What are we doing? Right? Talk that through. If not, the first session on the interview process. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:39:42]:
I don't wanna see you guys stuck in therapy for 12 years. Like, I've been in therapy for 12 years. I mean, I sorta love my mom now. Right? You're not doing nothing, man. K? I I I read a book, and the lady was saying when she moved to a new place, she didn't have her bestie anymore. Right? She's like, you know, maybe I could do therapy. Right? And when she found what she was doing was, she's going to therapy, and she's pretending her therapist was
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:08]:
her bestie. She's just fucking venting to
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:11]:
her therapist at whatever. You know, maybe insurance picking up, I don't know, 200, $500
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:17]:
a pop. Listen. Come on, man.
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:19]:
That's why we gotta get off these phones. We gotta get out there in the real world. We gotta keep we gotta we gotta touch other people. We gotta it might be hard. It's gonna be hard, especially as you get older. Make friends, man. Get out there and do these things. Right? Have companions and stuff.
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:31]:
Right? Get in a better mindset. Get around people you wanna be like. You are the 5 people you hang out with the most. If you hang out with fucking 5 people on the Internet or fucking donkeys, you're a fucking donkey too. K? Cultivate your news feed. Cultivate your life to be around these people, to be in a better mindset. Just get out of these tombs, to get out of this always looking for shit, always complaining. People are complaining.
Tyson Gaylord [00:40:50]:
I don't care if it's your mom, dad, cousin, brother, sister, best friend for 45 fucking years. All they do is this shit. You gotta x that thing. You're it's not doing you any good. You gotta move on. You gotta move past this. You wanna be legendary. That's why you're listening to this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:03]:
Right? You wanna be above normal. You wanna be above average. You wanna be these things. You've got to get around people that are doing this stuff. You gotta be different than the people that you see. Even if it's your family, man, you you can go have Thanksgiving with them. Rest of the time, you gotta be around other people. And so when you are and when you go there, you're like, it's not that many people are crazy weirdos.
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:22]:
That's alright. There's you know? And and if you hope they change, be the beacon of change that they see. Maybe like, look at you. Hey. Hey, man. What's going on? Looking good.
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:36]:
What have you been up to? Ah, you know, just
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:38]:
doing this stuff. And they're like, really? Did you help me
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:41]:
with that, man? I've been struggling too. You know,
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:43]:
if you're serious, I could. Yeah. That's the conversation you wanna have, not walk up grandma.
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:48]:
What are you doing? You shouldn't be doing that stupid. I'm like, I think the
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:52]:
conversation is gonna go. Alright?
Tyson Gaylord [00:41:55]:
Alright. Come on now. This is good. I was reading this book, learned excellence.
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:01]:
I'll link that and show this for you guys. Great. I learned about this, the ABC model. You have the activating event. You have the belief
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:10]:
and then the consequence of that. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:13]:
The belief of the event leads
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:14]:
to the consequence. Right? So you're walking along, crazy dog comes, bites you. Oh my god.
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:24]:
My leg is bleeding. Holy shit.
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:26]:
Next thing you know, you're like, dogs kill people. Stay away from dogs. Is that true? Not really. Right? Now this
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:39]:
may example may sound stupid, but think about let's just go down this road and see how when you start breaking these things out, how stupid a lot of beliefs are. Right? It's all they are. They're just our beliefs. We can change them at any time. We just gotta recognize them and change them. Right? Start down the habits. Right? I'll link to Atomic Habits. I'll link to, BJ Fogg's as well.
Tyson Gaylord [00:42:59]:
Start changing these hat. Boom. Start changing these beliefs. Boom. Boom. Right? Get rid of the belief. All dogs aren't gonna bite you. Right? But there was an event.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:07]:
You gotta recognize that event. Okay.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:09]:
This event happened. That was a crazy dog.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:12]:
I know what crazy dogs are like now. I'll keep my distance. From now on, when I see a strange dog, I know I shouldn't just approach. I should go through something. Hey. Love your dog. May I? Is it a oh, no. Yeah.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:28]:
He's great.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:29]:
Awesome. Right? Hey. May I? No. You know, I'm working. We're training. You know, the dogs are rescued.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:37]:
He's been through some stuff. He's a little aggressive. Not a problem. I'm a head this way. You head
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:42]:
that way. Right? This is it sounds simple. It is. It's not necessarily easy. Right? But there are steps. Right? Go back. What was the activating event? K. What belief did I make up now? K.
Tyson Gaylord [00:43:57]:
You might not like my language. You know, I I didn't make up, so it
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:00]:
happened. Right. But everything in life is
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:02]:
whatever you think it is, however you interpret it. We both could do 2 things, and and we both are gonna have 2 different beliefs about the outcome, about the situation because it's how we frame it. Right? Going back to what I was saying earlier. How you frame it. Right? You feel you've been harmed? Guess what? You've been harmed. If you feel you've been slighted you feel like a microaggression has happened? Guess what? It is. It did. Right? What is the activating event? What is the belief I created? Now what has happened because of this belief? I believe x.
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:30]:
I have to tie my left shoe before I put on my right shoe. If I don't, my day is shot. That's your belief. Right? That's good. Now we know. We can move past that. Okay? Be careful of people that are certified.
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:45]:
They ain't qualified. There's a lot of those people going around. Okay?
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:49]:
You might have fancy fucking plaques on the wall, but you've never been out in the real world. You don't know shit from shit.
Tyson Gaylord [00:44:56]:
Be careful with these people. Okay? You may be certified, but
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:00]:
you're not qualified.
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:04]:
We have oversized reactions to undersized problems. K?
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:12]:
When you see a spider and you jump and you run like it's a fucking lion, that is a event that was activated. You created a belief. Now you run. It's a spider. I can understand they're scary. I'm not a fan of sharks. Nothing happened to me. I just grew up on an island,
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:33]:
and I was worried about them. Doesn't mean I don't go swimming. I just understand they're out here too. It's not crippling. I don't blame nobody.
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:44]:
You know, I don't have oversized reactions to undersized problems. You know, I may I
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:49]:
may be sure I do. I'm work
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:52]:
I'll I'll find them, and I'll work on
Tyson Gaylord [00:45:53]:
them, and I'll get rid of them. You know? So many things nowadays.
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:00]:
I hate to harp on social media.
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:01]:
I think it's a great it's a great tool. But, like, everything is you is abused, is manipulated. We people do things
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:09]:
for view counts. People do things they sensationalize things, and we wanna be a part of the cool crowd, the in group, the whatever. We wanna do
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:15]:
the TikTok challenge, whatever. Then we create oversized reactions to undersize problems. This is a great topic. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:26]:
And then this is, I think, this is
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:28]:
the antidote to all this shit. So we need to prioritize health. Real
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:36]:
real health shit.
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:38]:
Not none of this fucking bullshit. Okay? Most likely, if
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:42]:
it comes from the government or WHO, do
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:44]:
the opposite. I'm a doctor. I'm a health professional. But when
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:51]:
I turned my shit around and I stopped listening to these donkeys, I lost, like, fuck, I think, like,
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:55]:
£70. Like, nothing. I didn't even try I
Tyson Gaylord [00:46:59]:
didn't do anything dimension. You know? I've slowly got fat doing, like listen. I'm eating 6 to 12 fucking servings of pasta and crackers and low fat. No. This. That. Man, slowly slowly slowly, I got fucking fat. You know? And that's remarkable thing about the human body is it is adaptable because it's what? It's antifragile.
Tyson Gaylord [00:47:24]:
Right? We talked about this. So you you're like, yes. Yeah. Okay. I'm a £150 overweight, but I feel good. I can stand up most of the time. I could stand around 3, 4 minutes without having to sit down or a break.
Tyson Gaylord [00:47:44]:
Right? We start prioritizing everything in in
Tyson Gaylord [00:47:47]:
the health realm. Everything in
Tyson Gaylord [00:47:50]:
life gets better. Like I said earlier. Right? There are some studies now using the ketogenic diet for for curing schizophrenia. I'm not giving medical advice here. I'm just letting you know what's happening. I see. During depression, anxiety,
Tyson Gaylord [00:48:09]:
type 3 diabetes or Alzheimer's, possibly even dementia in that range. What is type 2 diabetes, you say? Oh, it's
Tyson Gaylord [00:48:17]:
the cousin to type 2, which is self induced. Right? I've heard of some stories of people with
Tyson Gaylord [00:48:23]:
type 1 diabetics, which is you're you're born that way. Something happens to your pancreas and doesn't they having extremely well managed insulin levels through diet and exercise. I I I wanna say I've I've heard of some people that don't even need insulin anymore. I could be a little off on that. Nevertheless, directionally, this is what we're talking about. Right? Alright. Testing health. Your brain works better.
Tyson Gaylord [00:48:48]:
You're able to to get through
Tyson Gaylord [00:48:50]:
your day better. I do all my podcast standing. Right? Because I can stand here for hours without a problem. K? Listen. This is 4 pillars. Four pillars. Sleep, food, exercise, social. K?
Tyson Gaylord [00:49:10]:
Number 1 on top is sleep because everything feeds off of sleep. If you're not sleeping well, you're not recovering, your brain isn't clearing shit out, you're not gonna perform as
Tyson Gaylord [00:49:25]:
a legendary human being tomorrow at work, in your day, in your life, for your kids, for your family, for your community, for whatever. K? So you gotta dial in sleep. We talked about this at the top of the episode.
Tyson Gaylord [00:49:40]:
Nighttime routines. So I felt like this all flowed right down to the bottom here. When we prioritize sleep, when we start getting in that 7 to 9 hours, food choices become easier.
Tyson Gaylord [00:49:56]:
Right? Alcohol is a big problem with sleep. You might think I need a nightcap to go
Tyson Gaylord [00:50:02]:
to sleep. It messes up your sleep pocket that you're not getting as much REM sleep. You're not getting as things
Tyson Gaylord [00:50:08]:
Look into this stuff. We've gone over some of these things. We talked about the book, Why You Sleep. I've linked the episodes in the past. Go check out these resources. Right? So we start getting sleep dialed in. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:50:20]:
Then we start dialing in food. Let's try to only eat things that are single ingredient or so. I like meat, cheese, milk, fruit, occasional, maybe cruciferous vegetable or something like that. A lot of times, we need to rethink what we think are vegetables when we think are fruits. A lot of things that you know, there's a lot of fruits out there. I I
Tyson Gaylord [00:50:45]:
you know, I eat a
Tyson Gaylord [00:50:46]:
bunch of olives, berries, melons, you know, there's there's carrots, avocados. You know, a lot of things all of those things are fruits. Hey. Rice is a fruit. Maybe not binging on rice is not necessarily a thing, but there's ways to make rice less glycemic. Something, you know if you're gonna eat these, you know, bread or pasta, I would recommend a very high quality, something as the best you can afford. Preferably something imported from, you know, Italy or France or something like that, maybe making it yourself. If you can afford, you know, organic, you know, let's get let's get in the dirty dozen, see what's worth it and what's not worth it.
Tyson Gaylord [00:51:22]:
It's not all everything's not worth it being organic. Listen. Every there's only a couple of GMO things, so if it says GMO on it, you know, make sure you know of the GMO things. Like I said, I think there's only, like, 5 or 6 things that are really GMO. There's no that so many things are not that. You know? But it's not necessarily
Tyson Gaylord [00:51:39]:
about only buying grass fed organic. All that. Listen. If you're eating meats, vegetables, hard cheeses, cheddars and things, Parmesan, stuff like that or whatever, naturally raw
Tyson Gaylord [00:51:51]:
if you can afford it, these these things, full fat, milks, and and and and and these different things like that, these are the things, I think, that gets your body humming. Right? Think this when we're thinking about food, this is this is how I think about it. If I was out on a Serengeti somewhere, if I was out in the forest, how would I eat? I'm not gonna find a fucking roll of kale and salad dressing. That's not gonna happen. What am I gonna eat out there? I'm a stumble upon a blackberry bush, and I'm gonna probably grab a couple of handfuls, maybe if I'm lucky, and that's what I'm gonna eat. Then I'm gonna wander down to the river, and I'm gonna throw a thing in there, and I'm gonna catch a fish. I'm gonna stumble upon a fucking deer, and I'm like, oh, damn. That's what I'm gonna be eating for the next week
Tyson Gaylord [00:52:35]:
or month or whatever. Right? So this is how I think about
Tyson Gaylord [00:52:38]:
when I'm eating foods. When I stop when I when I think about, like, if I was if I was outside, could I get this? If I couldn't get this outside I have never seen an Oreo tree in my life. I could get this outside. Or if I could go outside and I could grab 4 or 5 of these things, and I could go back in the house and I could mix them together,
Tyson Gaylord [00:53:03]:
would I get something? Then then I'll get it. Right? It's not necessarily, you know, well,
Tyson Gaylord [00:53:10]:
demonize things, but prioritizing the fuel. You know? Are you just gonna are you just gonna dump whatever in your in your car gas tank? No. Your car's not gonna run good. Why would you do this to your body, man? Your brain takes up a lot of these these calories, a lot of this stuff, and needs the proper fuel sources. Right? This is how you become legendary. Right? And when you're eating good, boom, you're sleeping good. Right? And now you're eating good and you're sleeping you're sleeping good. Exercise is easier because why? You can recover, 1.
Tyson Gaylord [00:53:44]:
2, you feel like it. 3, it feels good when you're doing it. I mean, maybe not initially, especially at the start. Right? And I'm talking exercise. If you haven't exercised a long time, just moving your body listen. You get your lymph system moving. You get you get your heart rate up. When you're walking, your blood is being pumped from your feet up to your brain.
Tyson Gaylord [00:54:12]:
You're gonna start solving problems. You're gonna start getting ideas. Things are starting to come to you. It doesn't take much. If you are fat and overweight, you haven't moved in a while, just walk whatever a 100 feet. Go outside. Walk down to whatever the end of your driveway. The end
Tyson Gaylord [00:54:28]:
of this whatever. Just pick a short distance. And then when that
Tyson Gaylord [00:54:32]:
gets a little easy, you go a little farther. When that gets a little easy, you go a little farther. When that gets easy, maybe start doing some push ups. When that gets easy, you wanna start pulling things. You wanna start moving things around. It doesn't have to be crazy. You don't even need a gym. You don't need a single piece of equipment.
Tyson Gaylord [00:54:47]:
You can do things at home. You can do push ups. You can do jumping jacks. You can do whatever. You can do air squats. I'm sure there's the Googles with all the fun things. You don't need a single leg for. But just the act of moving the body gets so much things in motion and action.
Tyson Gaylord [00:55:07]:
These all lead up to each other. Right? Exercise, the food, the sleep. The sleep makes the food and the exercise better and easier and more effective.
Tyson Gaylord [00:55:16]:
The last pillar is we need to be social. We are social creatures. We are social animals. This is what makes Instagram and all of these things fun. We're having a pseudo social environment. We need touch.
Tyson Gaylord [00:55:32]:
You don't touch a baby, they die, or they're messed up forever. You sit
Tyson Gaylord [00:55:37]:
in your room, in your office, and you don't leave your house all day because you work from home and DoorDash brings you lunch and fucking Walmart delivers you groceries, that is not good for your mental health. It's not good for your physical health. It's not good for your body. It's not good for anything. Get out there and do uncomfortable shit because why? You're antifragile, and you need touch. You need communication. You need to be around other people.
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:05]:
It is probably hard. Good.
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:09]:
Get comfortable doing uncomfortable things, and your life will be better. Go hug a friend. Go make a friend. Go outside and do these things. Meet people. Wave to people when you're on your walk. Say hi to your neighbor. Do you even know your neighbors? If you've seen your neighbor in the grocery store, do
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:28]:
you even know they live right next door to you? They might need a cup of sugar one day. Maybe you need a couple of eggs. Go say hi. Bring them their mail. Bring them
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:38]:
their package that was delivered to your house on accident. Hey. Hi. I'm your neighbor. We've never met. I got your Amazon package. Here you are. Hey.
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:48]:
I see you barbecue. What do you like to barbecue?
Tyson Gaylord [00:56:51]:
Come on, man. Like, simple. Right? It may not be easy at first, but it's simple. K? Social.
Tyson Gaylord [00:57:00]:
You get these 4 pillars in your life going, Everything in your life is gonna improve. You will become fucking legendary. That's why you are doing these things most people aren't doing. Let's get moving. This is what's up. Just fire me up. I love this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:57:22]:
Let me know who's been inspired by this. What you've been changing? What you what you're doing after this episode? And to finish out here, this
Tyson Gaylord [00:57:30]:
is something oh, man. I fell in love with this concept when I heard about it. It sums up, I think the way I think. At least things I like to think about. And people a lot of people call me weird. I don't how'd you get that? What do you what's wrong with you? Non obvious.
Tyson Gaylord [00:57:49]:
So there's, like, there's levels to this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:57:52]:
I'll I'll link to some of the stuff for you guys. I got some of the category pirates. They have amazing substack, amazing books. I absolutely love their books. Category design is the main the main theme. Snow Leopard, they
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:03]:
got a bunch of these things.
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:05]:
It's incredible. If you're in if you're in business, if you're in marketing, you're in in these different types of things, sales and all these things. This
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:15]:
this these guys, I think, will help crystallize your thinking, help you become legendary, help you stand out above the rest. Right? So in in order to build the skill of coming with fresh new ideas, we have to first define what it means to think. This is from them now. Okay? Obvious content.
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:36]:
The art of speaking to what people already think and believe, catering to the reader's reflective nature. Right? It's just 99.9% of the things you love on the instant Instagrams, the internets, the web, because non obvious things will resonate. That's oh, yeah. Yeah. I love that.
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:51]:
Yes. Oh my god. Whoo.
Tyson Gaylord [00:58:55]:
No. It clicks. That's why these guys are famous. That's why it's easy. If you start if you start putting out all this obvious content, it's easy to become a little bit more it's easy to build a bigger account because people interact with the obvious content. It's the stuff. It's easy. We already think this.
Tyson Gaylord [00:59:10]:
We already believe this. You probably are part of this tribe like we talked about earlier. Right? You're a part of that little group. This is one of those things where you can be othered very easily.
Tyson Gaylord [00:59:20]:
This is where I I love this part. Right? The non obvious content. The art of educating people on what they haven't thought about or decided they believe yet. This, requiring their reflective nature. Right?
Tyson Gaylord [00:59:36]:
The other thing is reflexive. This is reflective. Right? So you have to think. It hurts your brain. In Daniel Kahneman's book Thinking Fast and Slow, this is what system 2 is. System 1 is our initial reaction, our thought things, things that we probably know. You know, 1 plus 12. Well, you know, that's system 1.
Tyson Gaylord [00:59:55]:
We don't have to think. We don't need to rather reserves of our brain.
Tyson Gaylord [00:59:57]:
System 2 is like, woah. Wait. What? Yeah. You know, interesting. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Tyson Gaylord [01:00:05]:
Let me digest this a little bit. Let me what are you saying? Can you say that again? Okay. Okay. Let me think about this. That's system 2 online right there. System 2 has come online and go, we have a problem, Houston. We gotta think
Tyson Gaylord [01:00:18]:
about something. Right? That's that reflectiveness. Right? But this is where
Tyson Gaylord [01:00:22]:
the great ideas come from. This is where the fresh thinking comes from. This is where you connect 2 plus 2 plus 3 plus 12, and all of a sudden, you got a new thing. Oh, hey. Where did that come from? It's not non obvious. I love this. I I think I I somehow default to this area. I'm not saying I see everything and, you know, whatever.
Tyson Gaylord [01:00:42]:
But I I like to, you know, find a different angle on things. I think about things a little differently, and this is what resonated with me, and I like this. And this really sums up a lot of things that I do. I like to try and live in this non obvious realm because I I I I enjoy the reflective nature of it. I I enjoy that. Right? So this is what resonates with me here. Right? When you are when you are a beginner, you know, learning, trying to learn anything, obvious action steps and incremental insights are exactly what
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:14]:
you need. Right? That's that's that, you know, that when you start moving into the, you
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:22]:
know, the conscious competence. Right? You start, okay. I'm aware. I'm doing things. And you you move to the next phases. You have unconscious competence. You you just start doing things. Like, you know, you've been driving for a long time.
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:31]:
You know, I I I know how to drive. I just know I don't have to think about it. Unless something happened, then
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:35]:
you're like, you really gotta focus. Right? So these are the things.
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:39]:
When we start there, we need to move into the non obvious area. That's where you become an expert. Right? This is when your I think it's
Tyson Gaylord [01:01:48]:
your passion can come through because you've connected. These things are non obvious. Right? And that leads to a reflective thing. Potential client or maybe a current client or or guest or customer or whatever it is. Right? Oh, oh, this is why I hired your expertise. I didn't see these things together. That's when you get deep down
Tyson Gaylord [01:02:08]:
into something. You become passionate about something. Like I said earlier, this is having something you dreamt about as a child. Right? It doesn't have to be something but because you got into it, you got enthralled, and you started learning, and you became passionate, now, boom, you can find non obvious content. Hey. This could lead
Tyson Gaylord [01:02:23]:
to a book or a substack. You know? This is that realm
Tyson Gaylord [01:02:28]:
where you start to connect with people. Right? You're not gonna necessarily draw the large crowds because it's a reflective thing. Most people wanna stay in the reflective nature where it's stuff you already know. It's easy. You're ready to it. You move on. You scroll fast. Right? You scroll through.
Tyson Gaylord [01:02:44]:
And with everything that we do here at the Social Community Show, this is what my overarching goal is for myself and for what I want to bring to the show. I I like to hope I can continue to connect non obvious things. I like to hope
Tyson Gaylord [01:02:59]:
I can continue to bring out non obvious things, reflective things in in guests, in topics, and it's not this is this has been the goal of of the show. Learn, grow, and transform. Right? And in order to do that, right, non obvious content is
Tyson Gaylord [01:03:15]:
the art of educating people on what they haven't thought about or decided they believe yet. And this is where I hope to live, and I hope I'm doing a great job for you guys. I hope I can continue to bring this forward. And I I thank you again for sticking with me through the through a hundred. It's been an absolute blast. I love everything about it. I I love what's to come. I think this is just gonna continue to be great for me
Tyson Gaylord [01:03:36]:
and everybody that wants to become legendary. I'll link to the different things, books and stuff.
Tyson Gaylord [01:03:42]:
If you're familiar with the show, you know how I like to do it. Throw everything in the show notes.
Tyson Gaylord [01:03:48]:
And this week's challenge. I want you to think about the presidential election. What does it truly mean to be a president? What would it look like if you were president? Imagine yourself in that role. What kind of leader would you be? Picture your neighborhood under your leadership. How will
Tyson Gaylord [01:04:09]:
the schools, community, and local businesses flourish? What changes would you make to improve your city, create jobs, and enhance home life? Now elect yourself president of You Inc,
Tyson Gaylord [01:04:28]:
responsible for your home and the small community around you. As president, your mission
Tyson Gaylord [01:04:34]:
is to cultivate a pocket of greatness. It is your duty to inspire, lead, and mobilize yourself, your family, and your friends to transform your pocket of greatness into a space where everyone can thrive.
Tyson Gaylord [01:04:53]:
That's what we focus on, what we can control, what we can influence. And with that, folks, it's been a true honor and a blessing to do these 100 episodes. I look forward to your success stories, things that you've you've learned from here. You've drawn out the inspirations, the things that come about this. You got guests and things. Let me know what you think. Let me know you want somebody you you want me to talk to, and, hopefully, they got some non obvious content for them.
Tyson Gaylord [01:05:28]:
As always, if you found any value from this episode, your mission, share it with at least 2 other people. Get the conversation going. Maybe you guys can start connecting non obvious things together. Create that pocket of greatness. Elect yourself president. Stop moving forward. Become legendary. You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all those fun places.
Tyson Gaylord [01:05:48]:
Your favorite podcast app, you guys know what to do with all that stuff. For past episodes and links to everything we've talked about here today, you can head over to the social chameleon dot show. Till next time. Keep learning, growing, and transform into the person you wanna become.